my kitchen smells of grapefruits and bleach i stand there on my blistering feet and i try and i try to forget all the lies that i tell myself to survive. my mother's house is miles away i know that i'll go back there someday but she has a guest who'll send me away if i try to make her understand. there's a world out there and it's mine oh it's mine i know i can catch it, make it shine but in order to do so my self i must sacrifice to know what's real. i peer and peel back layers so deep the dark, the dank layers of deceit and i try and i try to forget all the times that i've needed them to survive. i've had twenty-one houses and so many names i've forgotten the order of years, months and days but i think i must carry on living this way if i want to stay alive. there's a sky up there and it's high oh it's high i know i can reach it, it's mine oh it's mine but in order to do so my self i must sacrifice and never feel. my heart is made of stone my mind acts only when i'm alone my feet don't know how to follow a road but they dance their own path. my eyes are tired and deep it's been a thousand years since i could sleep i don't know how to sit here and weep but i still know how to laugh. there's a world out there and it's mine oh it's mine i know i can catch it, make it shine but in order to do so my self i must sacrifice there's a sky up there and it's high oh it's high i know i can reach it, it's mine oh it's mine and i guess my self i'll just have to find somewhere along the way.

there's a pebble in my shoe, it's reminding me of you and the way we used to scramble up the beach. it is raining and i'm wet, but i do not feel regret for coming out and walking round and round the town 'cause it's alright when i'm outside in the nighttime yes it's alright 'cause i can hide behind eyes that are not mine. this afternoon i cleaned the flat, i even got rid of the mat and i washed the bedroom walls down with a sponge now it's empty and it's stark like my cold and sterile heart it's so much harder, gone much further than i'd planned still it's alright 'cause i'm outside and it's nighttime yes it's alright 'cause i can hide behind eyes that are not mine and i'm still boldly marching on like the soldiers in the song but the war's not there, it's in my head and nightmares make a fragile bed but i must lie there anyway unless i want to stay outside in the nighttime where it's alright yes it's alright 'cause i can hide behind eyes that are not mine. and i've been out here for days, wandering round this wretched maze, thinking nothing and everything all at once and i'll keep on walking round till they put me underground at least then i will be free from this trance right now it's alright 'cause i'm outside and it's nighttime it's alright 'cause i can hide behind eyes that are not mine.

one day long ago i went walking, trekked down a long country road i didn't know where i was going but knew how to get there i'm told. the roads had no pavements and i wore no shoes i'd painted my face a bright shade of blue i knew i was going to lose my next fight so i tried to wake up from this dream. i got to my destination there were people in crowds round the ring i stepped into it and begged you don't make me do this thing. you picked me right up by the ankles you ended the fight there and then held me up like a trophy, a champion you put me down on my head and walked away. later i heard you with your violin playing along to one of my songs i stood in the doorway, you turned towards me like a ghost in a dream i didn't know you could play, i told you i can't, you replied, except when it's you took me into your arms, held me close, held me there i knew i was dreaming but i didn't care i had painted my face blue for sushi stood framed in the doorway, ate it without chopsticks earlier on i had pissed in a bathtub as people downstairs held their laughter like glasses while i painted my face blue for sushi stood framed in the doorway, ate it without chopsticks painted my face blue for sushi for sushi for sushi for you.

why do you think i'm a caricature? it's a face made of wood that you see just a man-made object, an illusion so pure that you don't realise i'm not me my strings are invisible thin as the web that was woven by legs (more than eight) it's a trap that was laid out in many a bed for a girl who experienced hate oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens call you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? a caricature of loneliness of life that might have been a skeletal sort of boneliness ripped at all the seams if i wasn't sure my desperateness was not some kind of dream then i would explore the onliness i've known, i've had, i've been oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens can you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? you pull my strings tighter i begin to rip i know this will haunt my sleep i'll slowly lose my grip oh but jack, the siren is not chasing you i can't bring myself to say it, though it's true in a world so full of fancy and delight surely sirens chase the bad guys through the night but no i'm just another broken puppet tangled in her strings just another fallen angel seeking out her wings why do you think i'm rebellious now? why do you think i don't care? why do you think i put things on my skin and shave all my head of its hair? i am an illusion, wood mixed with stone a caricature you cannot trust i've never done anything that i should but i've done all the things that i must oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens can you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens can you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens can you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens oh but jack the sirens call can you hear the sirens can you hear the sirens hear the sirens call? jack... oh but jack, the siren is not chasing you i can't bring myself to say it, though it's true in a world so full of fancy and delight why can't sirens chase the bad guys through the night?

and miles to go before i sleep, what's unwritten's not read across the years i want to leap and see what we have said. but miles away is too far gone and i've forgotten how to reach into the future's song and bring it back to now. and i would walk a thousand miles if i could know what was there and i would fly across the world if i knew you would care and i would spend a thousand days inside your courtyard grand if i believed that in some way you would understand. my lover's eyes are darker than the moon up in the sky well i have died so many times but lived whilst at your side. a day within your courtyard is a thousand spent elsewhere so i will go and spend my days and pray that you still care. and the smoke that rises to meet my eyes will softly fly 'cross the sky from the window where i sit and cry and hope one day before i die is my thousand-day with you. that little scroll all tied with string you left with my name on yet i was a feral, fragile thing who could not be led on so i took your scroll and swallowed whole it tasted bittersweet i know my heart turned back to you as i beat my retreat with miles to go before i sleep because i have to hide i wish, my dear, that we could be together and survive but miles to go before i sleep is written in my soul though part of me has stayed with you the rest of me must go.